It is commonly assumed by many fooball fans that FIFA try their best to secure a reputable footballing nation as the hosts of the tournament. However, for the 19th World Cup in 2010 FIFA decided to play a horrible joke on the participants and the their fans by allowing South Africa to host the tournament. The choice by made by FIFA angered many as a result of the hosts being ranked lower than any other nation in the tournament (apart from North Korea whose ranking is understandable due to their team having to be constantly replaced as a result of poorly performing players being assasinated by Kim Jong-il).
One year before the beginning of the tournament it looked increasingly likely that South Africa would not be able to host the World Cup, to the delight of the participants. This was largely down to construction workers striking against their employers as a result of receiving next to nothing for their efforts. Unfortunately for the workers, they were unable to find common ground with FIFA and were murdered.
When the tournament finally began, fans were treated to some pretty exciting stuff both and off the pitch. For instance, a mutinous French side rebelled against geriatric manager Raymond Domenech, blaming him for not having a clue what he was doing, despite leading them to the world cup final four years earlier. As a result, this lead to a series of unbelivably poor perfromances from the French such as a 2-0 loss to Mexico (a team who are obsessed with the idea of crashing out in the knockout stage of the World Cup) and a 2-1 loss to South Africa.
As well as the French, the English also forgot that it was World Cup year. This was shown through of a series of hapless performances from Fabio Capello's squad of crooks, racists and granny shaggers, evidenced by first drawing.with the Yanks after Green allowed a weak goal by rapper Deuce Dempsey in. After the worst 90 minutes of English football ever against Algeria, Wayne Rooney decided to blame the English fans for the loss. Despite Rooney's foul mouthed antics, Robert Green's goalkeeping and Emile Heskey, England still managed to progress to the next round with a win against eastern European shit-kickers Slovenia.
Another shock which occured in the group stages was when fondue fetishsists Switzerland beat reigning European champions Spain. Sadly, the Spaniards went onto win their next two group games and progress through to the knockout stages.
The knockout staged of the tournament went largely to script, with Mexico's guaranteed elimination by Argentina and Germany battering England being the two biggest talking points between drunk dads. However, the quarter-finals provided a few shocks. Brazil, looking to redeem themselves after a quarter finals exit to France in 2006, struggled to defeat a Dutch side including porn star Dirk Kuyt. Argentina, who were being managed by perenial crack head Maradona, also crashed out of the tournament. Despite possessing the qualities of Lionel Messi and Maradona's attempt to substitute himelf into the game, the Aregentines lost 4-0 to the Germans.
The semi-finals of the tournament saw three of the best tems in the world, and Uruguay, pitted against one another. The semi-finals saw both the Netherlands and Spain go through.
The final was a cagey, tense and boring affair. The final was made a little more interesting by the fact that it also doubled as an advertisement for the 2010 remake of the Karate Kid which starred Will Smith's gormless son alongside serial film-killer Jackie Chan. Despite the producers of the film spending a lot of money on this advertisement scheme, only Nigel de Jong received a memo about the venture; so when he proceded to kick Xabi Alonso in the chest, De Jong was shocked to receive a yellow card. The final ended 1-0 to Spain