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The 2014 FIFA World Cup was the twentieth version of the event and universally lauded as ‘the greatest World Cup’ ever, with all memories, video evidence and history of every World Cup from 1970-86 being erased from history.

'Greatest World Cup Ever'[]

Pundits gushed over the high-scoring of the group stage, breaking down in quivering masses of unbridled glee at the staggering masterpieces of effortless classics like Nigeria-Iran and Greece-Japan, both mouth-watering affairs that surely cast aside memories of any Brazil game from 1982.

Anyone who opposed the view that this was the ‘best ever’ World Cup were removed from their dwellings and herded into an unnamed stadium, where they remain, watching England and Costa Rica’s goalless draw repeatedly.

Football allergic addicts the United States were caught up in the mania of the scintillating tournament, with their game against Belgium being hailed as ‘their most important game ever.’ Just 12 years earlier they had been involved in a quarter-final against Germany, a fact that was never mentioned once.

The game was described as the ‘best world cup game of the century’ with Belgium amassing 38 chances to the Americans 14 and Clint Howard being the lone U.S. player on the pitch.


In general it was a shit tournament, with no classic games, no classic goal, no classic players and a 7-1 thrashing by Germany over Brazil, which was designed to liven up the knockout stages which were on par with Ireland 1990 performances.

The same old team won and the tournament was forgotten the next day.