Alan Wright[]
Alan Geoffrey Wright (born 28 September 1971 in Ashton-under-Lyne) is a tiny little man who suffered one of football’s most appropriate injuries.
Standing at just five foot four, fun-sized left-back Wright spent the peak of his career at Aston Villa back in the day when all Villa’s players were people like Mark Draper.
During eight consistent years, Wright, who often trained on a Subbuteo pitch, made over 250 appearances at Villa Park and became a very popular figure but he is possibly best remembered for sustaining an injury that entered into footballing folklore.
Wright was sidelined after hyper-extending his knee while trying to reach the accelerator in his new Ferrari.
It has been suggested that this was an act of football-crazy deity God, who was aggrieved that humans had used the gift of free will to create a society where a little, functional wing-back had the funds to buy an Italian supercar.
After his lengthy stay at Villa, Wright dedicated himself to earning the title of journeyman by playing for most of the clubs in the football league while owned by Sheffield United.
Eventually the teeny little man ended up at happy-go-lucky League Two-bound clodhoppers Cheltenham Town.
Bald[]
Like Lee Carsley, Temuri Ketsbaia and Being John Malkovich star John Malkovich, Wright is as bald as a cue ball.