No edit summary |
No edit summary |
||
| Line 8: | Line 8: | ||
'''Chedwyn' Personal Life''' |
'''Chedwyn' Personal Life''' |
||
| − | Eyebrows have been raised on the subject matter of Chedwyns sexuality. In his early football career ched was rumoured to be somewhat of a sexual deviant as the famous google search of him concludes in google suggesting you to search for his unknown 'sexy' girlfriend. However after various daft interviews on the 'BladesPlayer', ched revealed that he is currently in a relationship with student/stalker Brad "pussy is pussy" Conway. Ched met Conway at the PFA player of the year awards 2009 in which Ched was nominated in the categrory of 'Least Prolific Striker'. Ched lost out that evening to Gillingham giant Adebayo Akinfenwa in which Ade celebrated his award by getting his monstrous 19 foot penis out for the paperazzi. Ched and Conway are currently are settled with 2 kids in a 13 bedroomed Mansion in Pitsmoor, however the house has been burgled approximatly 35 times. To stop this persistent burglary, Ched hired fellow team-mate Nyron Nosworthy as his bouncer for the family pad. Their relationship was in doubt earlier this year when Conway reportidly got in with two massive munters, one of which had ears the size of an African elephant. The relationship again came into jepordy when an unnamed local retard (Laura Bennett) was reported to have given sexual pleasures to someone close to Conway, Conway started to accuse Ched but after an enquiry and investigation it turned out that the least likely candidate did the crime. Rumours were that a dick |
+ | Eyebrows have been raised on the subject matter of Chedwyns sexuality. In his early football career ched was rumoured to be somewhat of a sexual deviant as the famous google search of him concludes in google suggesting you to search for his unknown 'sexy' girlfriend. However after various daft interviews on the 'BladesPlayer', ched revealed that he is currently in a relationship with student/stalker Brad "pussy is pussy" Conway. Ched met Bradley "not fussy about pussy" Conway at the PFA player of the year awards 2009 in which Ched was nominated in the categrory of 'Least Prolific Striker'. Ched lost out that evening to Gillingham giant Adebayo Akinfenwa in which Ade celebrated his award by getting his monstrous 19 foot penis out for the paperazzi. Ched and Conway are currently are settled with 2 kids in a 13 bedroomed Mansion in Pitsmoor, however the house has been burgled approximatly 35 times. To stop this persistent burglary, Ched hired fellow team-mate Nyron Nosworthy as his bouncer for the family pad. Their relationship was in doubt earlier this year when Conway reportidly got in with two massive munters, one of which had ears the size of an African elephant. The relationship again came into jepordy when an unnamed local retard (Laura Bennett) was reported to have given sexual pleasures to someone close to Conway, Conway started to accuse Ched but after an enquiry and investigation it turned out that the least likely candidate did the crime. Rumours were that a dick Dan "penis of similar lenght to Dirk Kuyt" Goodall had received the pleasures, although these rumours were completely flase, conway still cried, because he fancied the fitty, aswell as her sister, and 35% of the girls in a certain year (pre pubescent). It is thought that Ched has distanced himself away from this media hype by spending more time with close friend Kevin Blackwell. |
Revision as of 12:47, 15 February 2011
BAG OF SHIT
 
Chedwyn Michael "Ched" Evans (born 28 December 1988 in St Asaph) is an overrated bag of shit/ Wales international footballer currently playing as a striker (if thats what you want to call it) for the one and only championship strugglers Sheffield United.
The team from South Yorkshire splashed out an outrageous 3 million pounds on this sheepshagging bastard after only playing 16 games for rich cunts Man City, and bagging a pathetic 1 goal which was a tap in against portsmouth in a 6 nil thrashing. 'Cheddars' also had a somewhat fortunate loan spell at norwich city earning himself the prestigeous prize of mitre goal of the year, sponsered by Unstone Warriors FC. The future is now looking bright for Cheddars as the clueless welshman is now deemed as one of the blades' best players after the useless new manager Micky Adams has shipped in average pieces of excriment such as Neil Collins, Michael Doyle and Marcus Bent.
Chedwyn' Personal Life
Eyebrows have been raised on the subject matter of Chedwyns sexuality. In his early football career ched was rumoured to be somewhat of a sexual deviant as the famous google search of him concludes in google suggesting you to search for his unknown 'sexy' girlfriend. However after various daft interviews on the 'BladesPlayer', ched revealed that he is currently in a relationship with student/stalker Brad "pussy is pussy" Conway. Ched met Bradley "not fussy about pussy" Conway at the PFA player of the year awards 2009 in which Ched was nominated in the categrory of 'Least Prolific Striker'. Ched lost out that evening to Gillingham giant Adebayo Akinfenwa in which Ade celebrated his award by getting his monstrous 19 foot penis out for the paperazzi. Ched and Conway are currently are settled with 2 kids in a 13 bedroomed Mansion in Pitsmoor, however the house has been burgled approximatly 35 times. To stop this persistent burglary, Ched hired fellow team-mate Nyron Nosworthy as his bouncer for the family pad. Their relationship was in doubt earlier this year when Conway reportidly got in with two massive munters, one of which had ears the size of an African elephant. The relationship again came into jepordy when an unnamed local retard (Laura Bennett) was reported to have given sexual pleasures to someone close to Conway, Conway started to accuse Ched but after an enquiry and investigation it turned out that the least likely candidate did the crime. Rumours were that a dick Dan "penis of similar lenght to Dirk Kuyt" Goodall had received the pleasures, although these rumours were completely flase, conway still cried, because he fancied the fitty, aswell as her sister, and 35% of the girls in a certain year (pre pubescent). It is thought that Ched has distanced himself away from this media hype by spending more time with close friend Kevin Blackwell.
Criticisms
Evans has came in for huge criticism from all areas of the Bramall Lane faithful. Insults such as 'You Welsh sheep-shagging cretin' and 'you Conway loving bumder' have been aimed at Ched. However his enthuastically dum personality has lead to Ched ignoring these outspoken fans and slowly churning out decent performances for the Blades including the famous 2.30 specials against Scunthorpe and Portsmouth. Ched claims that all free kicks must take a deflection for them to be a success, classic Ched!