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Confederations Cup[]

The FIFA Confederations Cup is a needless event that is held a year before a World Cup.

The competition pits the World Cup winners (usually Brazil) against the South American champions (usually Brazil), the European champions and some makeweights who scrounged titles in Asia, North America and Oceania.

The only legitimate purpose of the Confederations Cup is to give the host nation of the upcoming World Cup a chance to practice hosting a competition.

Apart from that motive, the tournament, which falls just after a long, arduous season of important matches, is completely pointless and is hated by players and coaches and ignored by the general public.

Being a waste of everybody’s time, on more than one occasion a country has refused to enter. Germany turned down the 1997 and 2003 editions, while France didn’t fancy it in 1999.

Budget TV station Channel Five used to poach the rights to show these tepid encounters, but BBC outbid them in 2009, offering nearly £40.

The winners receive this big old inelegant trophy that looks a bit like a dildo.

Confederations Cup on Back of the Net News[]

Iraq: 'Winning Confederations Cup Would Make Up For Everything'. Read more

Creator of Confederations Cup hooters: I am become Death. Read more