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DaMarcus Beasley[]

DaMarcus Lamont Beasley (born May 24, 1982 in Fort Wayne, Indiana) has a crazy first name and likes a bit of drink driving, but he will always be that bloke who pissed on the pitch at the 2002 World Cup.

Football career[]

Beasley is a fairly good left-winger who plays for Rangers and the USA.

Drink driving career[]

On the pitch, Beasley is known for his impressive speed but he is sometimes accused of losing direction. Sadly, the same assessment applies to his driving.

The Indiana native was stopped by police in Holland, during his spell at PSV, for weaving in and out of traffic at high speed.

When questioned by officers, Beasley said that he had drunk five glasses of champagne but was surprised to learn he was well above the legal limit. He also added that he’d “had a coffee and shit”.

In court, Beasley was fined £800 because the judge felt the regular £400 fine wouldn’t affect such a well-paid star. DaMarcus unfolded £1000 in notes and told the judge to keep the change.[1]

Public urination career[]

At World Cup 2002, Beasley made his name as a player in the USA’s impressive run and also impressed aficionados of public urination.

During a tense last 16 clash against Mexico, Beasley was limbering up as a substitute when he felt nature’s call.

Rather than return to the dressing room like most people would when in front of millions of TV viewers, Beasley took the Sunday League approach, whipping it out to piss all over the sideline and several cameramen.[2]

Fortunately for Beasley, USA boss Bruce Arena, who isn’t a great fan of football, had gone home to watch baseball on ESPN.