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Dimitar Berbatov is a Bulgarian striker, who plays for Manchester United. Berbatov is known for his unique footballing philosophy, which eschews the more trivial elements of the game such as running, defending and effort to focus on the basics: sulking, turning pedestrian defenders inside out without taking more than three strides and resembling the actor Mark Strong. After a rather middling first two seasons following his £30m arrival from Tottenham Hotspur in 2008, he was given the rather unkind nickname of Dimitar Berbaflop. Angry at being labelled with the epithet, the sulky Bulgarian took revenge in the 2010/2011 season by going absolutely goal crazy. His victims were the numerous lumbering centre-halves with turning circles like Routemaster busses who seem to be the norm in the lower levels of the Premier League. Against stronger opposition, however, Berbatov has remained his morose, ineffective self.

Some experts have speculated that Berbatov, with his good looks, silky skills and abhorrence to running, is in fact the 'bizarro' version of Liverpool striker Dirk Kuyt. It has also been speculated that, if the two were ever paired up, the karmic imbalance would cause a tear in the space time continuum.

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