Fitness Test[edit | edit source]
A fitness test is a mysterious challenge set for a half-fit player to ascertain whether or not they are able to play in a match. They are almost always late.
At any given time, dozens of players are 'facing a late fitness test, but the nature of this test differs wildly from club to club.
Old-fashioned Bulgarian striker Dimitar Berbatov only needed to complete a couple of laps of the pitch to convince Sir Alex Ferguson to pick him for Manchester United's September clash with Liverpool.
By contrast, Blackpool player Steve Kabba recently proved his fitness to face Ipswich Town by listing the state capitals of the USA in alphabetical order while whipping up a low-fat salad dressing.