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Gansu Tianma[]

Gansu Tianma, now known as Lanwa FC, are a Chinese football team who paid the ultimate price for employing Paul Gascoigne while he was whacked out of his gawd.

When the Guangdong outfit heard they could sign England international Gazza on a free transfer in 2003, they jumped at the chance. Sadly, Gascoigne's CV only briefly alluded to the former Newcastle United man's terrifying decline into alcoholism and depression.

During a four-game stay at Gansu, Gazza managed to score two goals, but he also eroded the very fabric of the club.

It had been hoped that the experienced midfielder would be able to offer some words of advice on training methods and tactics and to help inspire the younger players.

Instead, a clearly dangerous Gascoigne introduced drinking games to training sessions, told rambling anecdotes about 'gaan doon Bigg Market' and renamed every player in the squad 'wor Jimmy.'

"We thought we had signed world-class playmaker, instead we found drug-addled blunderbuss," Gansu chairman Chen Weidong lamented as Gazza shinned his way up the club's flagpole and dived into a paddling pool of white spirit.

Gascoigne left before two months had passed, but the damage he had done was irreparable. The Chinese club felt they had dishonoured the supporters and disbanded before reforming as Ningbo Yaoma and finally Lanwa FC who moved to the Hong Kong First Division, hundreds of miles from the site of their past indignity.

Notable Players[]

Paul Gascoigne (2003)