Hand Of God[edit | edit source]
With the game poised at 0-0, Maradona ‘scored’ a goal punching the ball into the net, in clear contravention of Rule 9b, which states: ‘obviously, you can’t handle the ball, but that should go without saying; what kind of a cunt would try and pull off something like that?’
After this infamous game, Maradona refused to apologise or even acknowledge his offence, instead claiming that the ‘Hand Of God’ had scored the goal. Action replays did not support this version of events, suggesting instead that Maradona was a disgraceful twat.
Scientists later estimated that the player’s head had been about three yards away from making contact with the ball. They added that God was not known to exist, although by definition it was very hard for his existence to be disproved either.
Terry Butcher, who was later beaten eleven times during Maradona's breathtaking second goal, has never forgiven the current Argentina boss for the 'Hand Of God'.
The former pugnacious defender and current Scotland assistant manager got his long awaited revenge when he refused to shake hands with Maradona before a meaningless 2008 friendly. Afterwards a delighted Butcher told journalists that he'd been 'cooking that one up for a long time'.