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Despite being the child of a man who looks more like a ballsack than Andrew Lloyd Webber, Redknapp managed to marry pop star Louise Nurding and turn an average playing career stunted by injury into an inane, money making spree as a vastly unlikeable pundit on Sky Sports. At least one in every five sentences contractually have to include the term 'top, top player', and literally has to use the word 'literally' literally at least twice every sentence.

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