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Joke leagues comprise the panolpy of bizarre leagues with no or few decent players who inexplicably continue to exist despite being entirely irrelevant. There are a variety of different categorisations of joke leagues.

Semi-retirement Leagues[]

These are generally recepticles for players formerly of proper leagues who want a last pay-day in between the moment where they stop being relevant in proper leagues and the moment their bodies crumble into dust. Notable examples include the MLS, where David Beckham, Thierry Henry and Robbie Keane plied thier trade, the A-League where you'll still find noted Honest Pro Emile Heskey along with native shitehawk Harry Kewell and the Chinese Super League which has seen Didier Drogba and Nicholas Anelka.

Oil Leagues

Similar to the above but in Middle Eastern countries drenched with oil. A poorer standard of football and a lack of international exposure and glamour is compensated by huge salaries. Notable players include Fabio Cannavaro and Pep Guardiola.

Two Horse Leagues[]

These are generally poor leagues with a couple of decent teams. The obvious example being the Scottish Premier League, which has acctually become a One Horse League since Rangers were demoted.

Proper Leagues[]

The Proper Leagues consist of Spain, Germany, England, Italy and France at a push.


Quasi-proper/Feeder Leagues[]

Quasi-proper or feeder league comprise those league that aren't as utterly laughable as the garbage they have in Australia but aren't one of the Big 4 (or 5).

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