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Julius Aghahowa[]

Julius Aghahowa (born 12 February 1982 in Benin City, Nigeria) never scored a goal in England, but he had one hell of a celebration lined up just in case.

Nigerian striker Aghahowa, who started his career at the fantastically named Police Machines, was a great success for Shakhtar Donetsk and used to score every week in Ukraine.

He is known for his magnificent celebration of seven consecutive back flips, which has brought him admiration and condemnation in equal measure.[1]

Coaches often take exception to Aghahowa’s preoccupation with his celebration and his plain refusal to kick a ball in training, preferring to work with a team of stunt coordinators.

In January 2007, Aghahowa signed for northern shit-kickers Wigan Atheltic.

During 18 miserable months in the grim north, Aghahowa spent eight hours per day working with acrobats from the Cirque du Soleil trying to perfect what he described as ‘the greatest celebration seen by man.’

Sadly, Aghahowa wasn’t all that good at football and didn’t score once for the Latics.

Cockney-rhyming slang[]

Julius Aghahowa is Cockney-rhyming slang for shower, e.g. ‘I’m off for a Julius.’