Back of the Net Wiki

Marlon King

The Man, The Myth[]

Marlon Francis King is a part-time professional footballer, full-time tit. After a fairly decent youth career scoring lots of goals for teams he ended up playing for Watford and fired them to promotion to the Premiership in the 2006/2007 season. King was Watfords player of the year and the top scorer in the Championship that year, which was ultimately the high point in his career. He then went on to break his leg before being turned down for a move to Fulham , because Roy Hodgson is a little bit racist, forcing King to settle for unremarkable fanless club Wigan Athletic.

King is currently playing for a prison team and has inked a deal to appear in Mean Machine 2, alongside Wimbledon legend and massive sell-out Vinnie Jones, cockney arse bandit Danny Dyer and the remaining members of the Jackson 5. He appears to be in high demand with Ian Wright encouraging King 'be a bit of a rascal' in order to make sure he is still incarcerated when Wright takes a much needed break from 'Live From Studio 5' to film 'Football Behind Bars 2'.

Caught by the fuzz[]

Being the kind of guy that doesnt take notice of the green cross code, Marlon was always in jail. His football career has always been a side project to his obsession with police cells. King has amassed a long list of felonies including theft, assault, drink driving, jay walking and getting help with the cooking during his turn to host on Come Dine With Me, He was also alleged to have headbutted former Hull City teammate and loveable drunk Dean Windass in a casino in Scarborough, however, the validity of this story was cast into doubt when gambling enthusiast Matty Etherington pointed out "Scarborough is too dull to have a casino, that's why I chose Stoke. We all have a cheeky flutter on how far Rory can launch Tuncays silly headband".

King continued with his one man mission to outperform serial twat Joey Barton, in 2008 having recently found out he was a dad to be, as well as bagging a match winning goal, he celebrated by breaking a 20 year old womans nose. Seemingly unsatisfied with getting his wife pregnant, King pursued a younger model, but when rebuffed by the woman, he proceeded by 'knock her lights out' planting a right hook, after having copped a feel beforehand. As a result, King was sentenced to 18 months in prison along with 7 years on the sex offenders register. This led Wigan chairman and massive bell end Dave Whelan to sack King in 2009. But many seen this as quite a let off as playing for Wigan is alot like jail, the surroundings are dull, you constantly fear for your life and visitors are rare.

Misleading Name[]

Having been criticised for having two first names rather than the traditional, first and surname combination, both Michael Owen and Cameron Jerome have condemed Marlon King for having a name that falsely implies a sense of importance.