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Matthew Le Tissier[]

Matthew Le Tissier (born 14 October 1968) was a scorer of great goals but also a great goalscorer .

The rise of Le Tissier[]

Despite unrealistically being from second most popular Channel Island, Guernsey, Le Tissier became very good at football.

Le Tissier would often score ridiculously good goals. So much so that all of Match of the Day’s Goal of the Season contests in the 1990s were choices between 10 of his strikes.

Arguably Le Tissier’s most memorable goal came against Blackburn Rovers in 1994-95 when he lobbed the hapless Tim Flowers from 80 yards.

Brilliant loyalty to Southampton[]

Despite being really good at football, Le Tissier stayed with Southampton for his entire career, rescuing them from relegation every season with a tired sigh.

He claims to have rejected moves to Milan, Chelsea and Tottenham during his career. Nobody is sure why.

Le Tissier’s faults[]

Sadly, Le Tissier only picked up a handful of England caps because he was widely regarded as a luxury player. He was hated by no-nonsense players

This accusation was based on the fact that the gifted midfielder would often sit in the car park for significant periods of games before becoming interested in the action and scoring a stunning goal.

Lip-readers would often pick up Le Tissier asking what the score was after finding the net.

Some pundits also took exception with Le Tissier’s aversion to scoring normal goals. He would often receive the ball in the six-yard box and dribble it 30 or 40 yards before taking a shy at goal.

After retirement[]

These days Le Tissier is on Sky Sports’ Soccer Saturday and has become increasingly jowly.