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Mido[]

Ahmed Hossam Hussein Abdelhamid or Mido (born 23 February 1983) is a mutinous Egyptian striker who scores on his debut, gets injured, becomes unsettled and moves on. This pattern repeats annually.

Ajax[]

Mido got his big break at Dutch side Ajax. However, after a productive spell he suffered a number of injuries, fell out with coach Ronaldo Koeman who ‘looked at him funny sometimes’ and left for Marseille.

Marseille[]

At Marseille, the lanky goal-getter made a great first impression, but was caught speeding, fell out with teammates, stubbed his toe and decided to move to Roma.

Roma[]

Mido’s enthusiasm for Italian football dwindled after he suffered a series of injuries, ‘didn’t much like the language and got a bit sick of pasta’.

Tottenham[]

At Tottenham, Mido initially became popular in a loan period when he scored twice on his debut and his form in 2005-06 was impressive. But he slipped down to pecking order, slagged off fellow players, felt a bit ill and asked to leave.

Middlesbrough[]

Mido scored on his debut for Middlesbrough but he got injured a lot, took against his teammates, felt cold all the time and eventually left.

Wigan[]

The volatile striker scored on his Wigan debut against Liverpool. But he is currently injured and has hinted that he wants a fresh start somewhere else.

Egypt[]

Like a lot of players with dickheadish tendencies, Mido has a strained relationship with his national side. He often says he can’t play for Egypt because he “feels a bit off” or “has a bad feeling about this one.”

At the 2006 African Cup Of Nations held in Egypt, Mido inexplicably opted out of glory. Angry at being substituted in the semi-final, he argued with coach Hassan Shehata and had to watch his countrymen triumph on penalties in the final from the stands.

He really is a sorry specimen.

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