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Professionalism and Experience[]

Professionalism and Experience are euphemisms used to justify cynical, negative play.

Summarisers (especially those who were no-nonsense players in their own careers, such as Andy Townsend) will remark that a player has ‘shown a bit of professionalism’ or ‘used all his experience’ when he does one of the following:

- Prevents a free-kick from being taken quickly by kicking the ball away, holding onto it, or hiding it somewhere and telling the referee ‘seriously, I don’t know where it’s got to’.

- Indulges in Corner-flagging for up to the final 30 minutes of the game to protect a 0-0 scoreline needed to qualify for the Intertoto Cup.

- Wastes time in other ways, e.g. by feigning injury (simulating), dawdling over set-pieces, creating a bomb scare in the stadium.

- Takes throw-ins from many yards further forward than where the ball went out of play, by stealing a series of tiny tip-toe steps which add up to around 50 metres.

- Holds back an onrushing striker by tugging his shirt, wrapping arms around him, or if necessary undressing him entirely, but without it quite being a spectacular enough foul to get booked.

- Administers a severe blow to an opponent’s ribs during a scramble after a corner.

- Hurls a brick through the window of the visitors’ team bus, killing their 19-goal leading striker outright.

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