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Qatar 2022, also known as "The World Cup that no-one wanted", is a football tournament set to be hosted in the city-state of Qatar during 2022.


The tournament was voted on in December 2010, after wealthy Arabs bought the vote of FIFA strongman Sepp Blatter and his 'yardies'. Qatar won ahead of USA and Australia.


-Heat: Middle-Eastern temperatures in July are something akin to a pre-heating oven. It has been suggested that Qatar will expend some fossil fuels to air-condition entire stadia during the tournament.

-Qatar national team: The team has a woeful record in international football, having never qualified for a World Cup.

-City of Qatar: Building a dozen stadia in a city of just over a million seems a bit wasteful, don'tcha think?

-It's the Middle-East [ahem]...: Not exactly reknowned for being fun-loving people, a major tournament held in an Arab state has raised questions over the availability of alcohol, as well as scantily clad females. Qatari authorities have assured that both will be freely permissible (under strict licences).


No-one seriously expects this World Cup to go ahead. It is anticipated that once Sepp Blatter dies from the major stroke that is waiting to happen, a re-vote will be held, wherein Qatar will be stripped of its hosting rights, thereby causing a legal shit-storm.