Stirling Albion[edit | edit source]
Stirling Albion are a Scottish yo-yo club who have had some miserable old times, but once took Selkirk to the cleaners.
At any given time between 1940 and 1960, Stirling were either being promoted from the First Division or being relegated from the Second Division.
These days, things are completely different as the Binos fluctuate between the First and Second Divisions (which are in fact the second and third tiers).
This tendency is responsible for the phrase ‘going up and down like Stirling Albion’, the opposite of common term ‘staying where they are like Stenhousemuir.’
Until 1992, Stirling Albion played at a stadium in Annfield, which allowed them to sign a number of foreign stars, who wrongly thought they were about to play at one of football’s greatest theatres.
Record score[edit | edit source]
In 1984, Stirling beat up East of Scotland League side Selkirk really bad in the Scottish Cup.
Selkirk had folded at the time and allowed Border Amateur League side Selkirk Victoria to play in their place under their name.
The minnows were confident of springing a shock and played the better football. Unfortunately they let in 20 sloppy goals against the run of play.
Shitty old season[edit | edit source]
In 1981, Stirling Albion were embarrassed in the First Division. They didn’t score a league goal in eight months.
Amazingly this trend carried over into training. A bemused coaching staff introduced a penalty contest at the end of every session, but still nobody could find the net.
Plastic pitch[edit | edit source]
Like a handful of other sides during the 1980s, Stirling fell into the trap of getting a plastic pitch. Albion’s first game on the new turf in 1987 against Ayr United was a portent of impending doom as neither side were able to deal with the bouncy surface. One lofted goal-kick bounced so high that the ball was in the air for more than 25 minutes.
As a result of an FA ruling, all Cup games had to be played on away soil, even Stirling’s favourable second round clash against the Blind School at home in 1988.
Eventually the plastic pitch was replaced with grass, which is better.
Ups and downs[edit | edit source]
Stirling’s recent history continues to be a story of ups and downs.
The lowlights include a 17-game run without a win in 2000-01 and a defeat against unrealistic minnows Gala Fairydean in the Cup.
These days, Albion are in the Second Division and have people like Colin Cramb.
In May 2009, it emerged that Stirling hadn't paid their taxes and had huge debts. The club's official statement declared that taxes had 'slipped our minds a bit' and that 'the money will be with you soon, honest.'
Nickname[edit | edit source]
Like all other Scottish teams, Stirling have a silly nickname – theirs is the Binos.