WAGs is an acronym used to describe the 'wives and girlfriends' of prominent football players. It is commonly used by the British tabloid press, in particular, to refer to the partners of the England squad. Like the outlawing of the two footed tackle, all-seater stadiums and David Ginola's hair, the lavishing of attention on the WAG 'phenomenon' is intended to attract the interest of a female audience to football.
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WAGs doing their thing

Interest in WAGs reached a peak during World Cup 2006 in Germany, with goings-on in Baden Baden attracting more media attention than the tournament itself. Indeed, thousands of fans watching on television at home accidently tuned in to America's Next Top Model rather than the England vs Paraguay game, due to the former providing a more gripping contest and containing less bizarrely dressed prima-donnas.

Notable WAGs Edit

  • Victoria Beckham - stick thin wife of former England captain David Beckham. Curiously gets more screen time per England fixture than she ever managed in a Spice Girls video.
  • Cheryl Cole - former wife of convenience to amateur phone-porn star Ashley Cole. Famous in her own right for being 'the Geordie one' in talentless female screeching club Girl's Aloud and for being a bit of a stunner, though she does look like she could do with eating a pie or two. She is also famous for judging on The X-Factor, which is ironic due to the fact that she cant sing.
  • Abigail Clancy - wife-to-be of amateur break-dancer Peter Crouch. A fact alone which proves that being a professional footballer exempts a man from the conventional rules governing the relative attractiveness of partners in human pair-bonding. Or in layman's terms: if you play footy for a living, you too can pull a hotty, even if, when you go for an overhead kick, it looks like a spider being washed down a plug hole.

The End of the WAGs?Edit

One of Fabio Capello's first actions as England manager was to lay down strict rules concerning the WAGs, forbidding them to visit players at the team's hotels, believing them to be a distraction to the players. The players were at first opposed to being separated from their trophy wives, given their lack of any actual trophies in 40 years, but grew to respect the idea as performances on the pitch improved. Rio Ferdinand described the atmosphere pre-Capello as being, "like a circus," and the new regime as, "well good, innit, and you know stuff," before losing his train of thought and going on to list his favorite Gameboy games. This, combined with England's failure to qualify for Euro 2008 and the fact that the World Cup in 2010 will be staged in South Africa, in Winter, may well spell the end for the England national WAG squad.This has turned out to be a blessing, because this would leave them in a different country from infamous WAG shagger, John Terry.

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